The gift of memory is an awful curse.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

From Myspace blog (20 Jan 2010)

fluoxetine substitutes.

With out adequate means of distraction, one would be an absolute wreck. These short bursts of happiness can come at a monetary cost, for example; living in a virtual world with the purchase of a PS3 or similar. More than half a grand disposed of, and it can fail to distract after a week (yes, even CODMW2)

One can find that purchases in general can act as an escape . . . clothes, dvds, books and many miscellaneous goods. but all at a cost. In relation to this, theres the need for employment, I find that work is definitely a good distraction at times, especially in my current employment industry, where you can pretty much be who ever the hell you want to be. But even here its gotten to me.

Going out and chilling is an effective distraction. . .The Abercrombie, Candy's, ....World Bar.. ..etc...., but even there it can get to you. You're with your best-of-best, but inside its all incomplete. The music, the people, and at times the fashion . . . those factors can bring it alllll back. You naturally compare, and its back, and you miss, you long, you suffer.

Sometimes you realise that even your closest of close cannot distract you. You shut them out. You shut everyone out. You stay silent. You attempt to control. You need to lie. You can't lie. Its heavy. You run, its almost midnight but you grab your keys, get into your car and just drive. It calms you, until its hits you that you have no where to run, no real escape, it hurts. You turn around, you go back.

Nothing is new, it still hurts, you cry.

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